What would John Mayer say????

Those of you who have been following right along for a while now know that every now & again I make a post about myself or something not John Mayer related. I apologize if this bothers anyone, but this is one of those not really anything about John Mayerposts.

As I’ve said before, I’m an RN. I work at a psychiatric hospital on the 11-7 shift which I do find rewarding most of the time. I have an almost 19 year old daughter who is my BFF & is simply an amazing young lady! She makes my life worth living! I adore her more than anything in the world!!! This past summer we decided to forgo our yearly trip to Europe & follow John Mayer around the north east area of the U.S. It was amazing, exhausting, great fun, & somewhat stressful at times, but I wouldn’t change a thing! So that is the idea from which this blog was born. I don’t know much about blogging. I don’t make any money from it. It’s purely for amusement purposes.

Fast forward to right now in time. My family is falling apart. For the past 4 years since my beloved grandfather passed away the family dynamic has been shifting. Then a year & a half ago we lost my grams. Nothing is the same as it was & I realize now as an almost 40 year old that’s how death works. The circle of life, so to speak, changes us all. Our priorities change, our relationships change, we can never get back to who we were when those people were alive nor can we make our family the same without them. Up until recently, I have been moderately content in my “nice” home, with my decent paying job in our quiet little rural area, but I’ve always dreamed of leaving here someday. I’ve had the desire to be in the big city for as long as I can remember. I always said, “I’ll go when I’m older & have more money.” I’m not sure I can wait until I’m much older. So much has change & gone awry here in this little area of Pennsylvania that I can feel it sucking the life from me day by day. My desire to escape has never been greater. On top of all that, Morgan needs to go to school. I do not want her sitting around here waiting because of me & worrying about me.

I’m ready to get the hell out of here! I’m just so scared. My mum says, ” what have you to be frightened of? You’ve traveled the world & have been able to fit in everywhere you went. Some people are so afraid they won’t even go to New Jersey!” And you know, she’s right, but going on a 10 day vacation & picking up & rearranging your entire life are two very different things!

I’ve made my mind up that I want to live in NYC. It’s one of my favorite places on earth & where Morgan wants to go to school. I’m just so damn scared of starting a new job (god part if me doesn’t even want to be a nurse anymore), my health issues need to be considered, & moving to a new place away from everyone is pretty rattling. I don’t know what to do, but I feel like if I don’t get the hell out of here I’m going to self destruct. There are only 2 people that I need to worry about in this life Morgan & myself. No one else worries about me & I shouldn’t worry about them either.

I don’t even know where to start in considering a move like this. When I think about it I’m filled with so many different feelings. I know & love NYC perhaps more than a tourist, but not as someone who lives there. There are so many things I’m sure I have no clue about & yet people learn & adapt. Life is trial & error. We shouldn’t not do something because it’s unfamiliar. If that were the case we’d be stagnate & never evolve to who we are meant to be. Morgan is young & in her eyes we should just leave. There is nothing to question. There is nothing to doubt. Ah, to be able to view life through the rose colored glasses of youth….

Feel free to leave me any ideas or helpful advice. I’m certainly in need if some.  Or let me know what you think John Mayer would recommend?  That might be interesting.  lol

 

Ciao Lovies

One Last Attempt to see John Mayer – epic fail!

I’ve always been known for my spontaneity. I’m the type of person who wakes up today and says, “I’m calling off and we’re heading out of town for the weekend!” While I can be an incredibly obsessive overplanner, I can also easily adapt to just taking off to anywhere at the drop of a hat! I believe it’s one of the things that makes life exciting, everything shouldn’t be planned. Living without constraints as much as possible is not only good for you physically and mentally, but good for the soul as well! Perhaps I was a traveling gypsy in an old life. I’m thinking a gypsy from Prague, because I have a serious obsession with getting to Prague, but that’s getting totally off subject. Perhaps someday I’ll start a travel blog. I have lots to write on that subject!

Anyway, we returned from Allentown at about 2:00 am with heavy hearts and nothing to look forward to now that our “chasing John Mayer” had come to a conclusion. As Morgan retired to bed I decided to quickly throw a blog together before I slept. As it happens, that blog never did get written that night and I spent several hours looking into John Mayer’s next show on 8-28-13 in Long Island, getting to and fro from Manhattan, and other last minute travel details. Now let me preface this with the fact that I love NYC! Next to Paris it is my favorite place in all the world (thus far anyway) and it does not take much to talk me into going into the city whether by bus or driving out to Hoboken and taking the ferry. So, with great expectations I went to bed for a few hours, got up told Morgan we were going without tickets hoping to get our hands on some, and made a call to my sister and brother in law who are my always reliable sitters for my 3 dogs!

Well, we were on the road by noonish and super excited, but realistic that we wouldn’t necessarily get tickets. At this point I was watching stubhub pretty closely to watch for some of the prices to come down and booked a hotel on our trip out to Hoboken! I know NYC like a native and always know of something to do. So I figured if we couldn’t get tickets we’d still have fun!

That was exactly the case! I missed the stubhub tickets by about 5 minutes and we were a bit bummed, but knew there was that risk at the beginning of the trip. So we hit a bar with live music (not as good as John Mayer, but good nonetheless) and planned a day of museuming for my hangover the next day before heading home.

Tragically, the only thing I got accomplished was a decent buzz before Morgan got kicked out at 11:30 for not being of age. This is about the time EVERYTHING went wrong! Shortly after returning to the hotel room my sister called crying that our one dog had attacked my poor old fat cat, Rigby! Now Rigby is my love. She’s like my second baby and I was devastated being so far away. I’ve never felt so helpless! As for the dog, well Nelly (her real name is Penelope) we’ve had problems with her being aggressive with other dogs for several years. We’ve tried a lot to help her through this problem. Eventually we ended up having to keep her separated from the other 2 dogs, but she still got a great deal of love and affection. Recently I noticed her growl at one of our cats and redirected her, but thought nothing of it. Apparently this was a mistake in judgment on my part. I should have realized her aggression was now surpassing other dogs and moving on to cats.

She hurt my Rigby pretty damn bad and I know this cat. I’ve had her for 10 years! She’s 20 pounds and barely moves let alone cause any problems with anyone. I didn’t need my sister to tell me it was unprovoked even though she did. I knew for Nelly to go after Rigby there had to be something very wrong. The sad thing is, Nelly was such a wonderful, sweet, gentle, big lug of a dog 90% of the time! The only problem was that unpredictable 10% that was left. She is the first dog Morgan raised from a puppy. We had her since she was 8 weeks old. There was nothing that happened to her that could have traumatized her in the 5 years we’ve owned her. All I kept thinking was “What if it’s a child next? or Morgan at night?”

With a heavy heart and a great many tears I made the decision to have her euthanized. It was the most difficult choice I’ve ever had to make. I could not risk allowing her to be readopted and possibly hurting someone, because no matter what they say about dogs not being good with children or other dogs there is no guarantee that anyone can prevent that from happening. Given the fact that Nelly was so sweet and gentle someone might take her home and decide the info on her was wrong, that she seemed so good maybe the previous owners had done something wrong. Trust me, I did all I could and that assumption could have gotten a person hurt or killed.

My heart breaks and I wonder how such a wonderful month could possibly end in such a horrid way! Not only did we not get to see John Mayer for a last time before he’s gone too far for us, but I had to put down a beloved part of my family. That’s just plain Shit!

Sorry for the rant. I know it’s completely off topic. Thanks for understanding!

 

RIP my Frisbee obsessed baby girl.  now you can run all day nonstop…

John Mayer’s dad joins him onstage in Denver 7-16-13

How sweet!